On Expectations & Judgment

It is quite significant to examine the expectations we have about the choices we make. The 2 usual mistakes are the miscalculations we make about a) the rewards and b) the side effects. We are usually wrong about what we ll receive and what is gonna cost us in exchange. Either we only focus on the reward and forget about or underestimate the price to pay or we overestimate the reward altogether. For those reasons our decisions are mostly flawed and we experience unnecessary pain and suffering as a result. Assessing as accurately as possible  the reward and the price to pay brings peace and joy. An “unwanted” side effect an “undesired” pain or complication once it is confronted and accepted as part of the deal, it is no more of a threat and is no longer painful or unwanted .

Of course the difficulty to assess accurately the reward and the price to pay is the most challenging part of our decision making. How to do that when we usually have limited information and  limited ability or inclination to understand or feel all aspects of the playfield ? Obviously our first step starts with the desired outcome that motivates our decision. If that desire is strong and consistent it is sufficiently qualified to be examined thoroughly and be cross-referenced with its possible implications and whether we are willing and able to accept any or all of these implications and if not what may be required to modify from the initial desired outcome in order to adjust those implications.

We are all strongly biased in our desire for reward and our avoidance of punishment in all our actions. Reward & Punishment creates a setting of conditional reactions to the events and circumstances we encounter. We expect to be judged in every action we take and the feedback of that judgment sets the path of the subsequent actions we take seeking reward or avoid punishment. It is almost impossible for us to act unconditionally ignoring the judgment feedback we receive. We almost always depend and react to these judgment stimuli, although our perception of that judgment is mostly biased and distorted by fear, anger, greed, worry, arrogance, grief, victimization etc. If we perceive that life respond to us positively or affirmatively we tend lean towards arrogance and greed while if we get negative or confusing signals we tend to lean towards anger, denial, victimization, worry, fear. In both situations we are out of equilibrium depended on the external stimuli. That is exactly the biggest problem.

The importance of what happens in the other spheres and dimensions of life that are relevant to our life but not seen or felt clearly, confuse us and throw us into doubt even when we take the right steps but don’t get a corresponding feedback matching our expectations of reward. Perhaps the most confusing factor is time. Because all our perceptions are based and depended on linear time, the sense of cause and effect is perceived linearly , so circumstances that follow certain actions get linked together as feedback , although in reality that sequence may not exist at all. The feedback we may experience after a certain action may not be related to that action. There may be a time gap for the corresponding feedback to be generated while what we perceive as feedback may be related to another action previously taken or a previous pattern of accumulated actions (Think karma effect) or may be originated  from  a totally unrelated to our present time space reality perception. It could be originating from another parallel reality concurrent, past or future. It may also be a kind of detoxing healing process. It may be a lesson to learn from. It may be a challenge to confront and fortify our belief system. Bottom line is that may not be a direct feedback in which we need to react and perceive as a judgment of our previous action.