On Love

There is a huge misconception about love.

We are led to believe that love is what you give to someone while in fact is what you receive. Our capacity to love depends entirely on our capacity to accept receiving love.

We may think that everyone can receive love, it does not take any effort or commitment or skill on our part. Is like a free gift which we can always receive without hesitation.

Think again because that is a fallacy.

Receiving love is the most difficult task of all.

– First, we need to ask for it, not just passively desire it but actually ask for it even silently

– Then, believe that is possible to receive it,

– Then, overcome the guilt whether we deserve it,

– Then, identify it, see it in front of us,

– Then, appreciate its existence, and feel grateful about its existence,

– Then, feel it embracing us, cuddle us (while is still outside of us),

– Then, resist the temptation to deny it by doubting our worthiness,

– Then, allow it to enter inside us,

– Then, melt within it until becoming one with it, losing our separate identity,

– Which then, start feeling flooded with uncategorized love, which is both beautiful & scary,

– Which finally, lead us to the final step of feeling love for ourselves, only because we don`t feel separate from the love. Then and only then we have successfully received love.

However if we examine all these steps we will discover how many obstacles are on the way.

– First, we rarely ask to be loved. We may silently desire it or complain that we lack it but don’t actually ask for it,

– Then, even if we ask for it, we seriously doubt whether we will receive it,

– Then, even if we overcome that doubt, we engage in a guilt trip believing that we don’t deserve it starting a self-sabotage,

– Then, even if we overcome the guilt trip and stop the self-sabotage, we usually have difficulty identifying it as love,

– Then, even if we manage to overcome all the above, we have difficulty appreciating its existence and show gratitude,

– Then, even if we overcome all the above and show gratitude, we resist in letting the love embrace us, like an abused puppy that won`t let anyone approaching it and caress it,

– Then, even if we overcome all that and allow love to embrace us, the shock of that embracing lead us to resist even stronger its acceptance, because we believe that we are not worth it,

– Even if we overcome all the above and we don’t deny it because we are not worth it, we have to physically feel it inside our entire body, which creates a shock of a “perceived violation” ,

– Even if we overcome all the above, we are now confronted with a deeper resistance because we start losing ourselves in it and having difficulty losing our ego identity,

– Even if we manage all the above, the uncategorized sensation of love scares us even deeper, because we have already lost ourselves and we cannot find an alternative identity,

– Even going through all the previous obstacles successfully, we confront the reality of love for ourselves, which is the scariest of all because nothing in our society has prepared us for that taboo prospect, which is considered socially egotistical and out of bounds,

– If we go through even that last step, we can say that we have received love.

Does it look as easy now after it has been broken down in steps?

Then and only then we are capable of sharing love,

– Because, we feel it and we are filled with it

– Leaving us no other option but expressing love,

– Which finally leads us into being able and willing to give & share love too.